I fail so bad.

I haven't worked out in..a week?

I've been sick. I have this horrible head cold and a sore throat that I'm scared beyond measure will turn into strep throat. >.<

I AM still eating healthier, though. I'm baking a lot of goodies, but not tearing into them like I used to. I'm very cautious.

I'm noticing that I'm still feeling better physically with doing things I couldn't do before.

This is kind of embarrassing...

Before all this, I could barely make it up and down the steps once without being out of breath.

I couldn't keep standing in the kitchen during cooking. I had to take breaks. 

I couldn't keep up with the kids.

I had a hard time sleeping/waking up. I still have problems falling asleep, but I wake up fine in the mornings. Most of the time.

I'm 23. It shouldn't be this way.

I'm debating on going in for a physical and talking to the doctor about something, because I need to do some early prevention.

My mom's side is all South Korean. Relatively healthy.

My dad's side is all obese with diabetes. 

I can't handle needles. I can't follow my dad in this one. 

FMFatLife.

It was my birthday on the 14th.

Kyle was off on the 13th.

I just baked 3 loaves of bread, and made some mock Texas Roadhouse cinnamon butter.

I haven't done Jillian Michaels. >.<

I KNOW! I KNOW! Begin your stoning now. I'm already kicking myself.

I've really done my best to be completely conscious of what I'm putting into my body. I'm eating more salads, yogurt, drinking water, etc. I'm watching the calories and limiting my carbs. And though it's only been about a week or a little over, something has to be happening, because my mom asked if I had lost any weight. I don't see any results, but I have a feeling I may be the one that has the hardest time seeing them.

But seriously. I need to get off my ass and get this going, because if I stop now, I'm afraid I'll never start it back up. And I'm scared for my future.

I don't want to be the mom that my kids are embarrassed over or ashamed of.

I want to be the mom that's running around in the yard with them, organizing kick ball games with the neighborhood kids, all of that. 

So, if not to do this for myself and my well being...

I need to do it for them and their future of having their (step)mom. They deserve that, and more.

Day 2. Ouch.

I started doing the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred yesterday.

Eh.

I've tried starting it before. A few times. And you know what?

This is embarrassing to admit.

I never made it past the warm up. No joke.

But here's to keeping true with my resolution of losing weight, huh?

When I weighed myself at my parents' house, I was HEAVY. Heavier than I was when I was pregnant with Gabe. I maxed my weight at 147lbs when I went in to deliver Gabe. I feel disgusting.

So, how am I feeling after day 2?

I'm sore in places I didn't think I would be sore. It hurts to do everything. But I can *finally* make it through about 75% of the workout. This is a big accomplishment for me. It doesn't sound like it is, but I'm so out of shape. 

My knees and shoulders are taking the worst beating from it. I thought my back would, honestly, but my knees give out every now and then and my shoulders lock up. To try and help that, I've been trying to stretch my shoulders and knees a bit extra.

As far as a diet goes, I'm just trying to limit my portions and becoming more aware of my calorie intake. My results will probably be slow-coming from this, but it's hard to diet when on a budget and feeding others. Eating healthy is EXPENSIVE.

So. We'll see how this journey goes.

Also, my birthday is on the 14th. I'm asking for DDR. That's what I used to lose all my weight in high school, about 30lbs. Fingers crossed!

2012 Resolutions

It's not easy for me to keep resolutions. I don't know why. But this year, I don't know that I'll have a problem.

I'm giving myself a makeover.

And not a typical housewife makeover that includes eyeshadow, hair color, the works. 

Not that I hate on any of that.

But I want a new me. And to fix up the house...

Anywho.

1. Be more. - Be more patient, loving, caring, giving, understanding, friendly, polite, respectful, etc.

2. Lose some weight. - Stepped on the scale at my parents' house and I was NOT happy. I've never been one to lose weight well. It takes a LOT for me to shed pounds. *sigh*

3. Finish off my Harry Potter DVD collection. - Luckily, I only need the last 2. I just have a REALLY hard time swallowing spending over $7 on a movie.

4. Get our finances under control. - We're in a tough spot right now. I'd like to get out of that ASAP.

5. Fix up what we can of the house. - We're on the right track with this. We got some new tile for the upstairs bathroom and the stuff to refinish the tub/shower. We just need to fix the walls, find a new (used) countertop and sink, etc. We're not going to be buying much of anything brand new. Craigslist is my friend.

6. Find more ways to spend time with Kyle. - We do pretty much everything with the kids. We're having a hard time finding our relationship in the mix. And we've only been married (almost) a year. Atleast we can say we're dedicated parents.

7. Find a job. - Maybe not a fixed hour job, because that's really tough to get with the hours Kyle works and only having one vehicle. And it's really hard to find a babysitter. But maybe doing the Etsy thing. Kyle's aunt gave me the book "How To Make Money On Etsy" for Christmas. A lot of people have faith in me. Apparently, I'm the only one that doesn't. That being said...

8. Raise my self confidence. - I know I need to think higher of myself in some ways. I can't take a compliment to save my life. I need to be alright with myself.

That seems like a big list, now that it's all typed out. 

Ah, well. Fingers crossed.